Stop whining – get up and do it! A woman has a chance to be successful!

“Poor thing, she’s raising children without a husband,” one can often hear it about a woman who parted with her husband. Getting compassion from others, such a woman falls into the power of stereotypes. Self-pity is elevated to absolute. What does she get as a result? A hassle-free low-paid job "close to home", quarrels with her "ex" because of scanty alimony, shattered nerves and the status of "poor relative".

The swamp is addictive!

Stop whining – get up and do it! If you do not say these words to yourself in time, it will only get worse. It is easy to imagine the following levels of the “swamp”:

• Unpresentable appearance. There is no one to keep in shape and dress up for: all the men were seized by the young childless ones, who are all legs.
• Chronic lack of money. Loans. New loans to pay loans. After all, it is so difficult to get a job when you have children! Which employer will tolerate sick leaves and requests to let go on a children’s party?
• Problems with alcohol: life is hard - I have the right to a glass of wine after work! Over time, the glass turns into two, and they turn into half a bottle of vodka.
• Other bad habits, such as smoking. There is no one to smell mint breath for. A cigarette is a way to calm down your nerves. Besides, smoking helps to lose weight. Do you think the same?
• Internet addiction. Ladies’ forums with topics about “jerk men”, social networks, online games are taking more and more time. The mechanism of addiction is the same as in case of alcohol or smoking: doses are rising, and quitting is impossible.
• Lack of attention to children: mom is either working or resting from hard work.
• Health problems.strong> Because of all mentioned, only the angel does not loosen her nerves. And all diseases, as we know, come from nerves.

The prospect is not inspiring? Then you need to pull yourself together right now.

Where to start?

To begin with – you should believe: I can! Start with simple steps:

• Decide for yourself what exactly you want to achieve. Draw a map: with yourself in the centre, and all you lack to be happy - at the edges.
• Set a specific, achievable goal. For example: not “to earn a lot”, but “to increase the income by 100$ next month”. Think about what you can do to succeed: find a part-time job through the Internet, look for more profitable vacancies, ask for extra hours at your work.
• Start saving money for something specific: a new refrigerator, a trip, a fur coat. It disciplines.
• Treat yourself with pleasant little things that do not require large financial expenses: walks, joint games with children, books, films.
• Take care of your health: go through a medical examination or just visit a therapist, gynaecologist, dentist.
• Start doing exercises in the morning. For the best effect - with your children.

Engage in all areas at once: work, family, health, beauty. Success is being pulled to one another. Just as misfortune never comes alone, success and happiness also do not like loneliness.

Self-management – what kind of beast is this?

So, you decided to change and took the first steps. It's time to start mastering self-management, which literally means managing yourself.

Imagine that you are a company, and you are its leader at the same time. Your task is to get the “company" out of crisis. The same management principles that work in business will help here. Basic skills, let at different scales, are used by both the head of a large company and an ordinary woman who wants to cope with life's difficulties.

The basic rules of self-management

• Planning. For a year, a month, a week, a day. Plans must be realistic. It is not like “I want a lot of money”, but “in six months I will move to a higher level and I will earn 20% more.”
• Time management. Learn to prioritize. Choose the most important things and do them first. With this approach, you will just not have any time left for things of less significance to you. And this is for the best.
• Communication with people. In the comfort zone limited by children, your closest relatives and a hopeless job, you will not be able to achieve more. Expand your social circle offline and online. Instead of chattering with neighbours, take continuing education courses (you can do it online if you have no one to leave your children with), and in your free time visit not websites for complaining ladies, but professional forums.
• Do not be afraid of making wrong decisions. Doubtless, try and do more. Respect yourself for your choice.
• Self-motivation. Successful people also do not like routine. But they do boring things (even more boring than yours) because they know how to motivate themselves. “Having this done, I will feel joy of getting rid of the problem that has been postponed for many days,” “if I do it now, there will be more free time in the evening.” If intangible “treats” do not motivate you, think of tangible rewards for every unpleasant but necessary thing you do: ice cream, a new blouse or lipstick - depending on the scale. It is important to "give out" a reward to yourself immediately and adequately to the completed task. Ten CVs have been sent out - treat yourself to tea and cake. Did not miss morning run for a week – you deserve a walk to the movies. Over time, you will learn how to get satisfaction from what you have completed, and you will gain a useful habit of not putting things off for later.

Important! Always write down your plans the day before, so that in the morning, without wasting time for thinking it over, you could immediately begin to act.

Self-discipline as the key to success

So that you would not give up after the first setbacks, remember: the changes are just beginning. Perhaps, in the beginning, everything will go wrong. This is normal. Your former “Ego”, passive, accustomed to folding its hands once faced the slightest difficulties, will resist change for a long time. It is important to overpower this moment and move on.

The main point is not to forget about self-discipline: this is the key to success.

What awaits you?

Psychologists advise making a goal achievement map: sticking your associations of future success onto a sheet of paper. If you think this will work, do it. A simpler tool works just as well: constantly keep in mind what you are doing all this for, what bonuses you will get:

• New professional skills, the ability to switch to a higher paying job;
• Financial independence;
• The opportunity to buy what you have long wanted but could not afford or constantly put off;
• A positive example for children.

And most importantly: a flourishing woman who "takes care of herself" is immediately noticeable. An interesting, vibrant, sociable woman has more chances to arrange her personal life and find complete harmony in all areas of life: from finances to love.

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